Goodbye India, for real this time.

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Our last goodbye to Yogandre who we fondly called “Big Uncle”. Crying and smiling at the same time, did that alot in India.
Before I can start my new blog about life in the Netherlands, I must first officially close the door, the one that involves the heart and mind, on Bangalore.  Saying goodbye is always hard, and I’m not sure if I have said goodbye properly and sincerely to India.  There are so many things that I miss, and so many things that I don’t. The contrast of brilliant blue skys and steeples of trash, the colors of the saris and water jugs and the knowledge that those women in their beautiful saris carrying the brilliant colored water jugs do not have running water in their homes, the never ending construction for amazing building sites with the most horrific working conditions…..all these things I have tried to reconcile in my mind and have been determined to only look back upon India “fondly”. The truth is not all the memories are wonderful even though so many of them are.  I have so many beautiful memories of friends, experiences and fun times but I must also give myself “permission” to accept that there are some culture differences in India that will forever haunt me.  I have to find a way to be okay with that so that I can look back and do so consistently with peace of mind…..because you see, sometimes I don’t want to look back, and when I do I always try to focus on the positive, the good things, the good people we encountered, the people whom touched our lives and hearts but sometimes whether I want to or not, it’s not always the good stuff and the good people and the good experiences that come to mind.  I think in order for me to say goodbye properly, I need to be okay with the fact that it was good AND bad.  It was at times awesome and not so awesome, fun, difficult and always exhausting.  I learned great life lessons and I will forever be grateful for the experiences but I accept that it’s going to take a long time to totally process my time there.  My heart hurts sometimes over India, but I’m looking forward to the day when I can just look back and take the good with the bad and not feel so torn every time I re-visit those memories in my mind.  One thing is for certain.  I never want to forget India.  With that, here are some pictures I took on our last days there.  They are random and you might wonder why would I take certain pictures of such mundane things…but every pictures was just a small insight to life in India for the 2 years and 8 months that we were there.  Goodbye Bangalore, India. Goodbye for good this time, goodbye forever, but know that you will live always and forever in my heart, mind and soul. You helped shape me to who I am today, ever evolving as we are, I thank you for the good in me that I found there, the strength of character that I developed, the compassion, understanding and empathy that I always believed I had but will now forever utilize and carry forward.  Goodbye and thank you.  Sincerely, Cynthia

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